(*If you already know you want to work with me, just scroll down to the boxes and choose an option.)
Hi! You are probably here because you heard me
or saw me and
felt a pull in your gut.
Let’s get right to the point…
Are you happy with the results of your relationship?
If you are, great!…You don’t need me now. (Yes, you can still call me later as the need arises.)
If you are not happy, then let’s get to work. (Read on…)
It only takes one person to change a relationship.
One person who changes impacts the relationship… compelling the other to change.
For example, what if your partner committed to doing their best to never complain?
I imagine that would change your experience of the relationship in some way. And it would lead to some sort of change in your behavior (maybe wanting to be around them more).
Or… What if your future partner came home and yelled in frustration every day after work?
I imagine that would change your experience of the relationship in some way. And it would lead to some sort of change in your behavior (confront it, work around it, avoid it) to adapt to it. We affect each other.
Given that we can only ever change ourselves, if we want to change the relationship, or the pattern of relationships we’ve had or we’ve been formed by… we need to change OUR behavior. Which will lead to a change in our partner’s experience. Which will change their behavior.
So let’s get to work on you, your limits, your communication… so you can be happy with the results of your relationship.
With guidance, you can have the relationship you actually WANT.
Realistically… maybe with this partner, maybe with one in the future.
COACHING with Erin is for you if…
- When there’s something specific that you are dissatisfied with in your current or past relationships, and you want to change it now/ before your next relationship begins.
- When you wonder “Is this [behavior or trait in your current/ ex-partner] something I should settle for or have I settled too much already?” Maybe you don’t know when or how to gracefully but firmly raise your standards.
- A lot of men tolerate behavior from a partner that they should not be tolerating. Many men don’t know that when you raise your standards with a woman, when you don’t allow her to treat you in a way that feels disrespectful (but is socially acceptable), the woman, in the long term, actually respects you more for that.
- You are not totally satisfied with what you’ve got. And you silently wonder “Is this all there is?” You may not even fully know that you want something else. There just may be a vague sense of lack of deep fulfillment.
- When you have little experience with women, and just want to learn as much as you can. (Or as little as you need to…) But don’t know where to start.
- You and your partner realize you need more support to deal with a specific problem or a pattern of behavior between you that you don’t like the results of.
- You know that you, or that you and your partner have “secure attachment” issues and you’d like to learn some exercises that you can do together, on your own, to help yourselves.
- You are curious about understanding women (or at least the women you know) better.
- You are curious about understanding yourself better (especially when she asks “How do you feel?” and you don’t really know, and can’t figure it out in the time she waits for an answer). When she has been asking for deeper partnership, for more connection, and you just don’t know how to give it… or maybe don’t want to give it in the way she is asking for it, but don’t know how to tell her that without hurting her feelings or causing a shitstorm.
- Maybe you have a hunch that if you understood your inner life better, and her inner workings as well… that maybe you could understand each other and have an easier time together. (Or maybe that’s my subtle way of inserting a teaching along the way.) 😉 That it would be really cool if there were some kind of gender-translation-school! (Ahem! Hi. My name is Erin. I’m a gender-translator.)
- You need to work with or partner with women who are frustrated, and they can talk circles around you, especially when they are upset, and you don’t even know where to start/ can’t get a hold of your thoughts in the whirlwind/ what you say doesn’t get received well.
- You get told repeatedly “You are not listening to me!” Supposedly, women have tens of thousands of words more than men that women need to use daily. That’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m saying is that in *some* places of our lives, *most* of us are either too hard and stubborn, or too soft and need to take a stand. If you are a man who gets told by others that you are too stubborn/ hard/ not listening… but have not yet paused to really consider that feedback, even though it has come from many sources… if you decide that *mayyyybe* you could *begin* to consider what they are talking about, I’m happy to help you see what they are trying to say, without bludgeoning you with it.
- And on the “too soft/ need to take a stand side”… Men who sell themselves out. Men who give in to women when they don’t want to. Men who give up on what they want to keep the peace. Men who try to keep the peace more often than they honor what they want. Men who mold themselves around their women instead of being confident that you can find a win-win.
- She’s not getting how important sex is to you (That it is high-octane fuel for you. That it makes you want to do stuff for her and make her happy. That you love seeing her smile and breathe and the flush that comes over her that makes her look even more beautiful and then she looks into your eyes, and it fuels your memories and feelings for her from the early days…) and you’d like to have that more with her.
Do any of these sound like you?
I LOVE sharing with men how AWESOME I think you are. How my life has benefitted SO MUCH just from MEN BEING MEN around me. And how much I want to give back to you.
By honoring that you have good intentions. That you want good things for women. That you want to help women. And be useful. And make them happy.
And that, sometimes, you accidentally get in your own way.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a guide through inner-woman-land who will never make you an idiot, or blame you for doing it wrong? Who would just gently but firmly and lovingly guide you toward a better way of communicating what you really mean?
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN
- Better communication with women.
- Learning yourself better so that you can communicate more clearly.
- Understanding women enough that you know how to communicate something so it will be heard best (most accurately to how you intended it) by the listener. We all have filters through which we interpret what is said. ie: He says X. She hears Y. And vice versa. When you learn the others’ filters, you can help them hear what you MEANT.
- Helping to know yourselves better so you can communicate your needs and limits better and be a better partner.
- You want something but you don’t know how to get it. Specifically about topics of relating with (any) women, ie: dates, partners, mothers, family, daughters, colleagues, communicating with women.
- Understanding women’s motivations and behavior.
- Learning your feelings (requires slowing down and listening to their bodies), learning to put their feelings into words.
- Setting limits with women. Learning your inner limits. Learning what you want more clearly. Learning what you don’t want to tolerate. Learning how to communicate that with grace so her feelings have less chance of being hurt.
- To communicate something important to a woman in your life, when you struggle to find words that she would receive well. Men worry that she might not listen to him all the way through, or whether or not he could even find the words to communicate what he is really trying to say. I work with men on finding accurate words that will be received as well as possible. Then I coach them on body language he can use that will help her hear his words more clearly.
- For help wording and creating your online dating profiles. Making them accurate, making them sound like YOU sound, making sure you present what you want to offer in a way that women will appreciate it.
- Verbal skills to be able to hold your own in a conflict, setting limits in a loving, graceful but clear way.
HOW MY COACHING WORKS
3 methods I use in my work:
- Teaching – Models for understanding behavior, feelings, and yourself. Will teach them when and as they are appropriate.
- Coaching – Encouragement, discernment. What action commitment do we need by the end of the session.
- Deeper processing – When there is enough resistance that you can’t get the homework done, going into emotional work.
100-Min Per Week Private Coaching Option
- One 90-min. Session per week
- One 10-min. Additional Session (call/ email/ text) per week.
- Coaching spans 13 weeks
- Limited support in-between sessions included
- The investment for this option is: $5250
3-Hr Per Week Private Coaching Option
- Two 90-min. Sessions per week (or one 3hr session)
- Coaching spans 13 weeks
- Limited support in-between sessions included
- The investment for this option is: $9000
Again, I ask you to consider… are you happy with the results of your relationship?
When we work together, you’ll discover that relationships can be fuel.
A lot of men think relationships are draining.
Challenges are the price you pay for regular, readily available sex.
When you have the skills to handle the challenges your relationship presents, then you are a badass and can handle all areas of your life!
BONUS for EVERY Commitment Option:
If you email me with a question between sessions, and I know it will take me less than 15 min to answer, then I will answer you without counting it towards your total time.
If I know it will take me longer than 15 minutes to answer, I’ll check with you to see if you’d like to just cover the topic during our next session, or I can answer you right away and simply deduct it from your total time.